Where the City Meets the Sea?

January 9 2010

Road trips are always fun. My favourite part of any holiday is usually the traveling. Always loved it. Don’t know why, just have.
So I was “on my way…. On my way…. On my way…. On my way” ;)
My family stops way too many times. I swear to God my Mum is a leaking tap.
So in my boredom, I realised I had lost my mind. Completely lost my mind. I was imagining my hair connecting to the tails of the horses nearby like they do on Avatar…
I also realised that whenever I listen to a song, I link it to something and create a film clip in my mind so it tells a story relevant to me. I take ‘clips’ from moments with the person the song reminds me of, and piece them all together so it makes sense. If I can’t do it with real life, I do it with Torchwood or Doctor Who. I have some neat idea’s for fan video’s now.
Dad pulled over on the mountain to check his breaks… In my own boredom, once again, I entertained myself – and this time others. I started doing the gratitude dance on the side of the road. Cars honked and flashed their lights. It was rather amusing.

Then we arrived, and to be honest, things turned to crap. I had had reception the whole car trip apart from the mountain, then the minute we get out to Murramurang, I have no reception what so ever… Murrumurang had a net connection, and it is unsecured… But it just doesn’t work… It’s weird… So I paid for net connection [which, by the way, is 9.90 for 2 hours] and it still wouldn’t work… So I got a refund, and I am STRANDED.

This is going to officially be the worst holiday ever. This whole resort fails. Epically.

Over and out xx

January 10 2010

Day two, and we ALL want to go home… This place is horrible, and we all agree. I still don’t understand why Mum and Dad booked it without checking it out properly – then again, you’re not actually allowed inside the cabins beforehand, and it looked okay from the outside. But no. There’s jack shit power points, no phone reception other than Telstra Next G, no internet reception seeing as it WON’T WORK. The kettle doesn’t work. The fridge is a fail temperature. The water is murky. They charge you for filtered water [so thank God we brought our own filter]… Oh yeah, and I wake up to find that they charged Dad for this years rates even though last year they were saying they were booking us for last years rates, as that’s when we booked. Like… They could have said the rates were changing? It’s bullSHIT. And just to top it off, there’s ants EVERYWHERE. Not to mention the sewerage smell… Though I guess we will live.

I’ve wasted my day shopping [getting phone reception] and making a Torchwood fan video for Jack/Ianto. I then proceeded to watch COE with Mum. S’pose things aren’t ALL bad if you just focus on the fact that in the end, I am doing a little of what I enjoy; sad really.

So I end by saying – Optimism is usually the key, and I am trying to find my optimistic side that seems to have been buried with sarcasm.

Over and out xx

January 11 2010

Day three, and I suppose I am settling down to a life of isolation from friends. It’s depressing, but it’s becoming bearable as I engross myself in books and writing and Torchwood. But really, what I would do to be able to log on MSN and chat to Jess and Cait, or sign on Facebook and see Braden’s nonsensical posts. To log onto roleplay and hook Gabby and the Doctor up, and have Gwen and Jack have sex. To catch up with all my youtube favourites, and even post my own. To be able to walk a few blocks and lounge around in Jess and Cait’s loungeroom. To be able to jump in Dan or Pete’s car and go absolutely nowhere. To have a God damn hug…
But I’m getting there; though day 3 feels more like day 5.

I’m yet to walk down to the beach, or hang out by the pool, or check out the arcade. I’m not much of a people person, and to be honest, they’re all skinny, and I’m so far from it. I’ll get around to going out there some time – might even after I write this.

So I did go for a walk around the beach – I thought too much, as always. Haha. Typical me.

We had a blackout just before dinner, meaning Dad had to cook on the gas oven and by torchlight… We also discovered there was no sharp knife and no cheese grater. We sat down for dinner, looked at the mutilated chicken pieces and the finely chopped cheese and the half chopped lettuce, and all we could do was laugh. I suppose that’s what you do when things are shit – make light of the situation and hope for the best. Not much else you can do, really. It was quite funny, tbh. Maybe my optimism is shining through after all.

Over and out xx

January 13 2010

I never thought I’d feel invisible in such an enclosed environment where I am forced to spend time with my family. A small part of me had felt that perhaps I chose the invisibility as a form of shelter, even though it was lonely. Now I know it’s not a figment of my imagination.

The kangaroo’s like the smell of our dinners… One tried to join us yesterday. And the possums come once dark falls. Steven and Dad seem quite obsessed with those possums, tbh…

Over and out xx

January 14, 2010

I am thoroughly sick of being eaten alive by mosquito’s. I am tired of being so far away from town. I am tired of the monotonous routine of driving for 15minutes in to town every day to pop into coles, then another 15 to come back. I am tired of doing absolutely nothing because I don’t like pools or bikes or scooters or beaches. I am tired of listening to everyone complain, yet the only place I complain is right here in my log. And I am tired of listening to all the little kids chattering away alllllll the time!

Over. And. Fecking. Out.


January 17, 2010

On Friday, Jess, Camo, Cait and Jess came down. Couldn’t catch up with them though, because Camo was tired.
Though yesterday, I went to Camo’s Grandparents place. We walked along the beach, had hot chips for lunch, Camo went for a run and me and Cait watched and talked while Jess and Jess went for a swim in the ocean :D
Then it started storming so we went and watched Hot Fuzz, had dinner, talked about nothing for ages, and then started the journey back to the resort.
Oh, but that’s where it got gooooood.
Just before the turn off to Murramurang, there was road blockages. The cop on site asked us where we were going, and we told him the Murramurang Resort. He was like “Yep, follow the detour around and go through Durras which is on the other side of the detour”
We were like “Yep, okay” and we drove onto this dirt road… Me, Jess and Cait were all like “Omg, reminds us of Torchwood.” And we were discussing how it’s like a mix between the episode Countrycide from series 1 and Meat from series 2. We were saying that the cop was a cannibal and we were being lead to the cannibal town, and that the crash was no ordinary crash, but infact involved aliens.
So we followed this dirt track for AGES. Like, literally over half an hour. We were way past Murramurang and Durras. We finally came out the other side and continued along the highway. We were passing signs we had never seen before, but we were looking for a way into Durras. We passed this beautiful green field… In the distance was an old English looking house just like where they were going to camp on the Countrycide episode of Torchwood. We were sorta like O_O now. Cait and Jess were shitting themselves. Me and Jikki thought it was hilarious, and Camo was concentrating on driving.
We realised we had gone WAY too far, so Camo turned around just before Ullaulla and we went back to the police blockage on this side. As we were driving back, Camo goes “Is it just my imagination, or are we driving through fog?” We looked down at the road, and there was a thin layer of fog on the road. THAT was creepy.
So we got back to the police, told him where we were going. He told us to go through the detour and go through that side. We told him we’d already been along the detour because the police on the other side had told us to. This cop told us to go back through the detour and tell them to let us through that side because the turn off for Murramurang was only a little bit ahead. So we did. Travelled back along that massive dirt road now in the dark. We’d begun thinking up different theories as to what was happening. Like we would slip through a time rift and end up back home 3 years later, rather than the two hours it had actually been. We were talking about what everyone’s reactions would be and how they would cope with it and such. We got to the other side, told them where we were headed, and they let us straight through. Thanks, coulda done that the first time.
When I got home it was roughly 9:30, and we had left Camo’s at about 7:30. A usual 40-ish minute drive took 2 hours.
Fun night. And I can safely say it has not been three years.

Over and out xx


January 21, 2010

Home sweet home!
Now to catch up online, post this, and post my video’s. Enjoy!

OVER AND OUT! x

I want to get away, I wanna fly away

I got my L’s today. Good God, the world had better watch out, ‘cause I can NOT drive. I’m not one for coordination. I can barely stand on two feet on a flat surface without falling over. I struggle to text and talk at the same time. I can’t manage walking without looking at the ground incase I fall. Driving is so much harder; but so much more fun :D
A new adventure awaits, I suppose.

I’m off to Batemans Bay tomorrow for two weeks. I still can’t work out if this is a good thing or a bad thing. It will be nice to get away from Wagga for a bit. But really, I am tired of Batemans Bay. I have been going there for very holiday I go on for as long as I can remember. It sort of gets a bit monotonous – especially when the town is smaller than the one I actually live in. Still, fresh sea breeze, lack of internet; it might do me good.
I hate the sun, and the sand, and the water. I hate swimming. Odd, I used to love it. Now, I can’t stand it. I don’t even know why. I suppose I’ll sit somewhere in the shade with a nice book. Sounds like me. Jane Austen, JK Rowling, Virginia Andrews… Paradise.
I might write, too. Writing is always fun.

So, I guess, unless I acquire internet access while away, this is the last blog for two weeks. (Not that I ever posted them regularly. But I am trying now.)

Over and out x

Weekend Wars

Right, so if I were to become a regular blogger, I would actually have to be bothered. Am I bothered? [“Is this face bovvered?” Lol sorry] Ahem.. Am I bothered? No, not really. But I will try.

So I’ve sort of given up on vlogging for now. Why? Well, one, I need a decent camera and two, I find it awkward talking to a camera.

My holidays have been filled with Doctor Who and Torchwood. I watched all 3 series of Torchwood, and I must say, I think it’s absolutely brilliant and I can’t wait for the 4th series. I then watched series 3 of Doctor Who with friends. For Christmas, I got series 1 and 3, and spent all day watching series 1 with Mum. Naturally, she fell in love with Jack. I downloaded End of Time parts 1 and 2, and have watched them a few times now. In the gaps, I have been roleplaying Gwen Cooper, Donna Noble, Gabrielle Delacour [who has happened to be dragged into the world of Doctor Who] and Bellatrix Lestrange. Let’s just say, I have no life. But I enjoy no life :D

Speaking of Christmas earlier… I am not a huge Christmas fan. I think it’s very over commercialised, and really, it’s just a reason to eat, spend money, and party. I don’t know about all of you, but if Christmas didn’t exist, I would still get the presents I get, I just wouldn’t get them all at once under a big tree that only comes out once a year. My family don’t really get along, so we don’t get together much. Tbh, I prefer it that way anyway.
At least I enjoyed Christmas day this year :) I like doing nothing.

New Year is a bit over rated too, tbh. But still fun. I got my midnight kiss from a gay man, so I am very satisfied.

I’m going away to the coast this Saturday. I think I will just about die of boredom. I really don’t enjoy water, sand and sun. [Jeezuz, sounds like I don’t enjoy anything] But ahh well, make the most of time away, right?

Over and out xx

White Horse

The way you learn about someone isn't necessarily from them, but from the people they themselves are close to. Sometimes, it can be biased or distorted to suit the person telling the story. But if you trust that person with all you have, why would you not trust a simple thing that comes from their mouth?

And for the first time, that amazing person who lives inside that lockd up castle lets you in. No more conversations from outside the gate. You're actually in. How can you not trust them then?

And he would never know.

It's unsafe to hold someone that small step higher than everyone else, in that tiny bit more light. No one is ever perfect, and you can't expect them to be perfect. It is impossible to be perfect, because our small emotions, actions and movements create tiny imperfections. While only small, they are still there, leaving us imperfect. So to hold someone in that stronger light, as though they are almost 100% perfect, is wrong. Yet we find ourselves doing it often. It seems that that one person can do no wrong. In our eyes, they ARE perfect. Be realistic. Because when they show their imperfections, even just lightly, it hurts all the more.

Stories. Stories. Stories.
Tell me what's going on.
Tell me what's happening.
What's going on in your mind?
What happened in your past?
Words.

Sometimes you hear a story about someone, and you think "No way, they could never do something like that. They would never be like that. They're not that kind of person" But the story comes from a trustworthy mouth. Someone who never speaks bad of people, even when they do wrong. But you don't want to believe it. Why would you want to believe it? It's wrong.
But once you are aware, your subconcious studies. Without even meaning to, you pick up the truth of the things you didn't want to believe.

It's true.

Watching. Observing. Far better than listening and keeping a blind eye. You learn so much from a person if you don't have a serious oppinion of them. If you leave your mind open to wrongs, rights and inbetweens. Just watch. Just observe. You learn so much more.

I've never understood people who take people around them for granted. It's frustrating to see someone put their all in to help someone else, and that someone else just doesn't care how much effort that person put in for them. How much effort that person ALWAYS puts in for them. So much.

I tried. I really tried.

You open your eyes, and you see the truth. You open your mind and you have room for the truth. You close off your heart, locking the hurt inside.

What more is there to do?

Hey, keep your hands off that girl, you've already had enough

Have not blogged in a while, so here we go.. Also kept with the song name theme still..

Why do people think that things that are not acceptable in society are acceptable online?
I've not been on a chat site for a fair while. They really do not interest me. However, I randomly decided to jump on Habbo Hotel and see if I could gather a few ranom youtube subscribers or something, and I was hit with it all.
"Hey sexy, wanna have some kinky time in my room?" by some random person who had never seen me before in their life, and who had no idea who I was. Now, I'm sorry if I've missed something along the way... But I am sure that's not acceptable in society. So why should people think it is alright to do online?
I know online it's not physical, and it's not face to face, but that doesn't make it any better. That does not give someone the right to abuse another person, or make them feel uncofortable, or even rape them [yes, I have seen it happen]. It's wrong in real life. It's wrong on the internet. So why do people seem to think they can do it?
Methinks there needs to be internet police to stop this stuff.

Anywho, that's my 2 cents worth...

Another One Bites The Dust?

So, my day was interesting. Well, not really. I did nothing. Absolutely nothing. Besides going to school, anyway.. And I hardly remember what I did at school I was that tired.. So rather than write a blog about today like I was going to, I Will write a blog about the past few days.

Right well.. Amongst all the lack of sleep, I've actually had a fair bit of fun.

On Monday, me and my friends Cait, Jess and Mel decided we wanted to make a sort of studio so we could film our own version of "Rove".. Well, something along those lines.. But we had no idea where to do it where we wouldn't be interrupted, and wouldn't have to pack up after ourselves every time. So we decided to clean out my brothers old Cubby House, decorate it, and turn it into our own studio/hangout place. It's not big, but it works so well.

So Monday afternoon, we got to work... De-weeding.. Didn't even touch the cubby house... Soooo many weeds we could hardly even reach the cubbby. So we started weeding.. However, we realised that my weed bin was completely full... So we left the weeds laying on the ground after we pulled them all out, and called it a days work.

Tuesday afternoon we walked to Mel's house and grabbed her weed bin and wheeled it around to mine. We piled all the weeds in and discovered that we had to pull more weeds out. We went inside for a break, and two carloads of my friends decided to show up. We hung for a bit, then decided we would go convoying around Wagga. Four cars, driving around until 11. It was great :D

Wednesday afternoon we cleaned out the cubby house. That included dusting, getting rid of cobwebs, sweeping and cleaning out the cupboard. He used that place for creating strange 'potions' with random 'ingredients', so you can just imagine the things we found. Bottles that looked like they had things living in them. Jars that smelt like literal shit. Containers with chunks of God knows what. We decided it would be fun to play the smelling game and pour them all out. We seriously found some interesting stuff.We then went through and sprayed bug spray EVERYWHERE. You should have seen the bugs that came out of that!
I also went for a drive to KFC that night... The chick who works there wasn't too impressed..

Now, we are looking for a new roof, carpet and a paint job!

We're making a progress video for youtube, so see us in a week or two there!

Ciao.

Big Black Coffin

Just a quick blog of thoughts before I go to bed.. I should be using this time to write my Drama thing, but I have no inspiration for it at the present time.. Plus I am kind of avoiding it..

I definitely hate my desire to be held and loved. I mean, I know that everyone gets that. It's part of being human. But to me, it's almost more of a desperate need rather than just a want. I would love for someone to be able to hold me as I fell asleep. In fact, no, that would be great. I don't sleep well at all (12:40am with school tomorrow) but when I am with someone else I sleep so much easier.
It's more a fear of being alone, I'd say. Not just a slight fear. A real, deep fear. One I can't really explain. To put it simply, I just want to feel loved. It'd be nice. Knowing and feeling are two different things, and while I know I am loved, I want to feel loved. Really loved.


Over and out x